My 15 year old cousin has been living with me, in my apartment, for more than the past week now.
Thank your parents. For the love of God, thank your parents for everything.
|Friend: We can't settle for women not worth it|
|Friend: So we're not gonna get engaged until good women come along, and we're more mature, and we have money to blow on them.|
|Me: Okay, also agreed.|
|Friend: Cus' women are crazy, and need time to mature too.|
|Me: Tell me about it.|
|*2 Months Later*|
|Friend: Hey man, I'm getting engaged|
|Me: ...................................................you're not serious|
|Friend: Yeah man, I'm going to Jordan next week|
|Me: Say wallah, SAY WALLAHI AZEEM (Say I swear to God, Say I swear to God the Almighty)|
|Friend: Wallahi Azeem!|
|Me: Dude.. you are such a traitor.|
*Watching Are You Afraid of the Dark Episode from Circa 1998*
Character 1: The only thing scary about computers are the people who use them.
Me *Looks down at laptop in my lap, cell phone in my hand, and then voice commands Xbox to turn down the volume*
Me: Yeah, he’s totally right. This is kinda scary.